Silence denies the truth, while crushing the human spirit.

October 2nd, 2014

“I think to be in exile is a curse, and you need to turn it into a blessing. You’ve been thrown into exile to die, really, to silence you so that your voice cannot come home. And so my whole life has been dedicated to saying, “I will not be silenced.” — Ariel Dorfman

Ariel Dorfman’s words could very well be mine.

At one point, I inaccurately believed it was a curse to be in exile and to be punished each time I returned to my homeland, India. In time, I came to recognize the brilliant plan of nature—it created me with a beautiful seed of self-love, emotional intelligence, and courage and set me on a journey of continued education—to experience emotional violence and understand damaged human psychology in an in-depth manner. It is through these teachings that I have come to value my life as a blessing.

Where the cunning and desperate silencing by ruthless perpetrators of hate is increasingly wounding, it is the actions of the supporting cast—emotionally impoverished and ignorant individuals—that has been equally revealing and disturbing. These ultimate defenders and promoters of abuse, with epidermal functioning, comprehend life in terms of money and visual suffering—bodily injuries or physical diseases requiring pharmaceutical drugs and operative care. Their ignorance makes them feel entitled to deny, minimize and nullify emotional distress and sadness while justifying abuse (Try telling them to ignore visible wounds or skip a week’s medication, they will throw a fit and go ballistic.). One of the reasons abusers harm and destroy life is because they know they have an army of defenders-enablers-cheerleaders.

As an adult, having been treated in an apathetic and condescending manner, consistently, by pro–violence good people, I am outraged to think of the plight of an innocent child—how will a scared and violated child in distress ever approach people with confidence in hopes of protection? Devoid of emotional acumen, the response of silencers will be abysmal. They will further burden a vulnerable child with a myriad of toxicity—blaming, shaming, and denying. And further drown a child with their make believe superiority and perfectness, to safeguard their image. It is precisely this criminal mindset that sets in motion the downward spiral of an innocent child. A beautiful tender flower that had the right to bloom is denied life. The terrified child goes from being betrayed by those he/she trusted and depended on—the parents/caretakers—to being betrayed and further silenced by the good guys—pro-violence silencers.

If this crushing of human spirit is not violence, what is it? Unpardonable crimes against children are made possible by enabling partnerships, and an equally collaborative and apathetic society. This growing sea of textbook educated enablers, anchored with denial, emotional bankruptcy, and stunted mental faculties are the problem.

Albert Einstein correctly stated: “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who do not do anything about it.” I am incredibly ashamed of the many “good people.” I do not have to visit hell to experience it; I have experienced it through pro-violence silencers who have secured their places in hell thanks to their reprehensible behaviours.

Harboring oppression and silencing a child has to be one of the greatest forms of cruelty. I have come to accept, albeit, with much struggle that those in the business of life—married to the poverty of the mind, self-deception, and secrecy— can never divorce their emotional ugliness. They will only make excuses for abusers while rationalizing their detrimental behaviours. They fail children miserably for sure, but those who wake up each day to be the best ignorant failure can never show up in life for truth and human dignity. They can only actively torch lives of vulnerable children.

Similar to physical wounds that must be acknowledged in time and tended to, emotional and psychological wounds, especially infant and childhood traumatization, requires attention and enormous care.

Silence is a barrier that prevents emotional wounds from healing. If anything, it proliferates and eats away life like cancer.

It is high time we said enough to the violence of forced silence; it is time to take charge of your life and make the healing journey. If you are hopeful of being extended empathy, comfort, and support from this “group think-group function-group exist” inferior herd, with distorted thinking, you are setting yourself up for further disappointment. In the amazing accounting system of life, where their karma is theirs to deal with, you my dear child have to find the “will” to make your soul feel alive once again. No matter the form of your abuse—emotional, spiritual, psychological, physical, or/and sexual, I pray that you find the desire and strength to smash the forced barriers of silence, hand over the well-earned shame to your abusers and their defenders, and begin the process of healing. I want you to know that I BELIEVE YOU, and I CARE for you tremendously.

You are everything, and more nature created you to be. Re-engineer your life willfully and painstakingly. Never allow anyone to extinguish the fire in your soul or deny you your birthright to speak. As you heal and become stronger, you will extend yourself to others by being open, supportive and compassionate. You will come to know that nurturing and caring are crucial for healing and living.

Dare to live. Refuse to be SILENCED.

Heera